Two weeks in intensive care

Hey folks, it's me Rach and I've survived the two past treacherous weeks. Fear stalks the land; each day in hospital I spend trying to avoid a sepsis meltdown; no rice, no germs, no eggs, no take-aways, no undercooked meat, no NOTHING.

Once you become aware of the germs, it's all you think about. Shared surfaces, a snotty beak, a lingering droplet in the air left by some hideous convalescent. Say I take a lunch tray with hospital food (I would never do this) who knows who's doing the food prep, excuse me are you wearing gloves? Too late I've already slid a plate of chips down my gullet without even thinking. Why not just lick a toilet bowl and be done with it?

So hear is the story, within a matter of days I managed to acquire a chest infection, a kidney infection and the flu. How that happened I have no idea.. some big fat sporous bacterium had obviously sauntered into my room and spread their filthy fingers all across my goods. A cunning cough there and an artful splutter there lead my to spewmonia on my woeful deathbed. I'm fine now.

One night whilst I was drifting peacefully into an indulgent snooze a nurse came in in a flurry telling me that I had very little oxygen in my lungs. Let me hear you say ideal! Then I was joined by a tonne of doctors and nurses. A jab here and a prod there and it was quickly decided that I move to the intensive care unit. By this point I had no idea what was going on, still can't remember.

Next thing I know I'm in a fish bowl with about five thousand cables attached to me and continuous beeping. From here on I have no idea what happened except I had a temperature of 40.5 for about a week. I got given this tasty controlled drug called pethedine. Offt now, it is given to stop the shakes and it is like heaven on a plate. Little did I know it's addictive and the withdrawal symptoms are pretty heavy which I'm currently going through right now.

Then the damn kidneys start to play up. I won't go into this too much as its grim. Basically I'm just peeling straight up blood.

Pfft think that's bad? Not to mention for the two weeks everything I tried to eat and drink I spewed back up and the sheer jet force fired me back out the hospital window.

THEN, one dark evening I jollied out my bed to pee, stood up and the fainted and fell SLAP bang on the flood smacking my head on the way down. Now everyone's thinking I've got a brain injury. At this point I was DONE, do with me what you will, feed me to the cats, take me down to the river, I don't even CARE.

Brains fine. Kidneys now fine. Chest also now fine. Flu also gone.

I've been in here for seven weeks now and I've got a sore arse from sitting on it all the time. Tomorrow I am due to go home. I just have to last one more night without a temperature. Pray for me! Also, little shout out to my two buddies in hospital who are going through real tough times but doing amazingly, they know who they are and I'm very proud and happy for them!


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